Over-Analyzed Movies – X-men: First Class
Now I realize it’s a little late for this, but just view it as the ample time I gave you to see the movie before I judge it. I am an avid X-men fanatic and slept with the first edition of The Ultimate X-Men comics in my bed for longer than I care to admit. But X-Men: First Class… Let me just begin with a big fat spoiler alert!! and just say that in and of itself, as a movie isolated from the other 4, great movie. And if they had marketed it as they did the most recent Spiderman movie (which I will be talking about, cause it was, in fact, amazing) and called it an alternate origin story or even a reboot instead of a prequel, I would have no qualms and this post wouldn’t exist
(you knew that was coming…) It was a disgraceful prequel. I have many quarrels with the lining up they did. Granted, I may just be spoiled by the beautiful prequelitude of Rise of the Planet of the Apes but hey, still no excuse. I like lists, so here are the issues I had:
1) I am a little lost as to where this prequel fits in with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the first X-Men movie. Judging by Xavier’s appearance in both, I would guess that it came before Origins and the first movie but wherever you plop this movie, it’s got problems. So lets just put it before all of them for argument’s sake.
2) As I just mentioned, in Origins, Xavier comes walking out of the jet to come save Scott and the others, already bald and Professor-ish. Talking to his brain and shenanigans. Which works beautifully with the first movie where Xavier introduces Scott (aka Cyclops) as his “first pupil.” But if First Class came before Origins, that would mean that Cyclops was not, in fact his first, but his, like, seventh. (8th if you include Magneto) So… WRONG!
3) In First Class, you see Xavier and Magneto grow a friendship and all that jazz as teenagers. And seeing as you watch Xavier get his spine severed as a twenty-something year old with great hair, he couldn’t have walked off the ship to save Cyclops in Origins or walk into little Jean Grey’s house in the Last Stand as a kick-ass bald dude. WRONG!
4) Xavier also was still working with Magneto to find a bunch of mutants in the Last Stand and the first movie. Hell, bald Xavier drove Magneto to Jean Grey’s house. Obviously, he didn’t start amassing an army against Xavier as a strapping young lad. WRONG!
5) They named the stripper fairy chick (who is pretty much useless, by the way) Angel. But, everyone knows that Angel is the incredibly handsome dude we saw trying to saw off his angel wings in the Last Stand. WRONG!
6) The government acts all surprised and crap when they find out that there are mutants. Hello! Wolverine had been working with them to find Adamantium for like 100 years at that point according to Origins. (He’s fighting the damn Redcoats for god’s sake) WRONG!
7) When did they all become/stop being British!?
8) Getting really picky, in the comics, Xavier lost his legs when an alien named Lucifer dropped rocks on his legs after he went bald, which, by the way, happened in high school as a result of his mutanism. Since it was only in the comics and all of the movies ignored this, it’s a bit particular and potentially overlook-able but still WRONG!
9) “Nein!” Sounds stupid when you scream it for like a minute and a half. Like really stupid.
But hey, it’s one damn fine looking cast.
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